my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
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Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
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I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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