I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
