He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
