BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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