I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
