We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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