physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
