do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
