My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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