Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
