we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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