i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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