My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
