The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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