rhymes with "ouble enetration"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
