Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize