Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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