There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
