Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
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Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
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We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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