The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
