Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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