he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
