I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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