P.S. I can't hear my feet
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
