She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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