btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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