Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
