Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The uberlube is also flammable
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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