Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize