Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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