Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
