screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
