she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
