No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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