i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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