Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Blood and glitter go together right?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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