did you get engaged???
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
