In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
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