Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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