My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
