he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
