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• (530): View more from California

  before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.

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• (650): View more from California

  guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels

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• (207): View more from Maine

  So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.

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