he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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