They should really pass out barf bags in church
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
