maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
