Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
