my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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