I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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