it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
not ubering you a puppy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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