Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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