Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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