I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
