How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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