i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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