are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
