oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
